Today is the start of Spring Festival–the Chinese New Year.    Almost everyone is setting off fireworks in celebration.  Below are a couple videos taken from my balcony.  The annoying background noise you hear is firecrackers.  They are going off constantly.

The explosions in the video were literally right in front of  me.  I was standing on the 7th floor balcony, and the fireworks were being set off from the street below me.   The explosions were no more than 50 feet from where  I was standing.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Xi nian kuai le!

Year of the Dragon

While I was never at the point of “they all look exactly alike”, I did have a hard time getting past the “They all look Chinese” part.  :)  After about two months, I became so used to Asian features, that I stopped seeing the Asian features, and was able to pay more attention to the individual features.

Now… they look just like us.  I look and I see the hillbilly, the diva, the gomer, the pretty boy, the sorority girl, etc.  And, of course, I see exactly how different all the individuals are (though I swear a couple of my guys are twins by different mothers).

Today on the way to work, a guy on a scooter drove by and it was really weird… My family will laugh at this, but what went through my mind when I saw him was: “If Uncle Mike had been born in China….”

The one on the left

A couple weeks ago, one of my favorite students left the school.  She is more than just a student, she’s a friend.    We met today to  catch up before she heads back to her home in the north.

Jessie is a wonderful young woman.  From the start, she’s been a friend to me and helped me to acclimate to Chinese culture.  She’s brought me gifts of tea from her brother and her boyfriend.  And, most of all, we’ve sat and laughed at these “southerners” and their inability to handle  anything that approaches a real winter.

She’s heading back home next Friday.   Home for her is the north eastern corner of China.  From what she says, it sounds a lot like Wisconsin.  She’s offered to help me come up to visit  during the Spring Festival.  If  work allows for it, I’ll definitely take her up on it.   I’d like to see a different side of Chinese culture–and having a friend to walk me through it would be wonderful.

She took me out for Korean food.  Patrick (my roommate) has  taken me to this restaurant once before, but he was more reserved in what he ordered.  Jessie went all-out to introduce me to Korean cuisine.  I think it was a good thing that I’d already had a “mild” introduction to Korean food via Patrick.   While I’m an adventurous man, I prefer to understand the basics before I throw caution to the wind.  Patrick showed me the basics of Korean food.  Knowing what they consider to be “mild” and “spicy” gave me a metric on which to base my understanding of their food.

Jessie isn’t your typical  Chinese woman.  First of all, she’s not entirely Chinese.  Her ancestors come from Korea and Russia, as well as China.  She’s a strong and independent woman who has traveled extensively.  She speaks at least 4 languages (Mandarin, Korean, Japanese, English).  And… she’s just “good people”.

I trust her.  I let her order the entire meal–including an interesting alcohol that she insisted needed  to be “infused” with fresh cucumbers before  drinking[1].  It was *really* good.  (Annette?  Are you paying attention?)  We had shaved  beef (paper-thin!) and what I can only describe as ultra-thick bacon–both cooked right at the table.  The proper way to eat them is to put them on a leaf of lettuce, add slices of garlic, scallion, and/or cucumber, toss in some flavored  soy paste, and stuff it in your mouth.   With a little tweaking, it could be a great bar food.

I have come to know quite a few people in China.  While I am on friendly terms with almost all of them, Jessie is the first one that I would consider “a friend”.  Let me put it this way:  if I ever find myself in trouble with the law in China, she’ll be the first one I call.  She may not be able to help me, but I’m betting she knows who can–and she’d be willing to send those people my way.

[1] Slice up a fresh cucumber into  shoelace-sized  strips, put them in a carafe and soak them in your favorite vodka. Then drink the vodka.

One day without piano lessons from the neighbors to the west, and drumming practice from the neighbors on the right; without door slamming or brooms being banged against the metal railing in the hallway.

One day without the PA system from the school at the end of the block, and the military-like shouting coming from… well, I’m not sure where that’s coming from.

One day without people shouting in the street, without fireworks going off at 8 am, and without the roar of poorly-maintained cars and bicycles squeaking, rattling, and clanging down the street.

And one day… oh please, just one day, without the constant shriek of car horns at every hour of the day and night.

I understand the 4 (technically 5) tones–even if I’m not very good at them.  That’s the most difficult part.  In English, we use tone to modify a word–make  it a statement, a question, an admonition, etc.  In Chinese, it completely changes the word.  Take, for example, the word “ba”.  It’s not just 1 word; it’s 4 completely different ones–one for each tone.

1 : ba – 8 (the number)
2 : bá – to pull
3 : bâ – a target [1]
4 : bà – dad

While most Chinese who deal with westerners are very forgiving about the tones, mistakes can be quite serious.  For example:  using the wrong tones can change “alpaca” to “fuck your mother”.  Getting the tones right is that important.

So…  I have a reasonably good grasp of the tones.  Pronunciation, on the other hand….

A little background on the Chinese language:  There isn’t one.

First of all, “Chinese” may refer to either of two completely different languages historically spoken in what we call “China”.  Those languages are Mandarin and Cantonese.  They’re about as similar as French and Polish (which could both be called the “European language”).

Mainland China primarily speaks Mandarin.   Except…. that’s not exactly true, either.  It would be more accurate to say that they speak the “Mandarin branch” of Chinese.  We think of China as a single, unified country.  That’s not true.  It’s more like the European Union — a collection of separate nations under one government.  And, just like the European Union, they speak a wide variety of languages.   There are, from what I understand, over 50 distinct dialects in China.  These aren’t just accents, they’re completely different versions of the language.

One  of the things that Mao’s government did was to “standardize” the language.   That’s “Mandarin”.  This doesn’t mean that everyone stopped speaking their regional dialect and started speaking Mandarin; it means that all  students  were required to learn Mandarin.  Essentially, everyone became bilingual.  The 60+ dialects are still spoken, but (almost) everyone also speaks “standard Chinese” (what we call “Mandarin”).  There is no one who speaks only Mandarin–it’s an artificial standard imposed on an entire country.

What does this have to do with me learning Chinese?  Well…. Kunshan is a city that attracts people from all over China because of it’s large industrial base.  Our students are from all over China, and grew up speaking a wide range of dialects.

So… Imagine you’re learning English.  The teachers are:

• A Scotsman
• An Irishman
• A Cockney
• An Aussie
• A Cajun
• And someone from the Bronx

…And they’re all trying to teach you how to speak like Dan Rather.

Then you’ll understand how 4 of us spent at least 5 minutes arguing about how to pronounce “sh”.[2]

[1] Turn the accent mark upside down so that it looks like a ‘v’

[2] You would be surprised at just how many ways there are.

Spicy chicken with steamed vegetables over  rice[1].   And Bailey’s Irish Cream for desert.  The three American teachers are getting together for  friendly meal and a few drinks.

It’s not Mom’s amazing stuffing, but… it’s a good meal with good people.   I think that’s what counts.

[1] Spicy Chicken (all measurements are just wild guesses)

• 4 chicken breasts, cubed
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1 tsp ground fennugreek seed
• 2 tsp sweet basil
• 1 tsp ground rosemary
• 1 tsp sage
• 8 chilis, chopped
• 3  tsp lime juice
• 3 whole tangerines
• 1 head broccoli
• 1 red pepper
• 5 cloves garlic
• 1 whole onion
• 3 cups rice

Slather the chicken in sesame oil, add ginger, fennugreek, basil, sage, rosemary, chilis, and lime juice.  Let sit for a while.

Cook the rice.

Dice all the veggies, garlic, etc.

Put the chicken in a wok on high to sear the chicken, then reduce heat.  Add the veggies.  Squeeze the juice of the tangerines into the wok.  Let simmer, stirring randomly.  Cover and let simmer for a while longer, stirring whenever you feel like it.

Serve the chicken over the rice.

Make sure to save the leftovers–those chilis really get the whole thing spicy after a couple days in the fridge.

So… if you know me, that should be easy.

If you catch me at home, I can plug in the microphone and webcam and do a video chat.  Otherwise, I can always text chat.

Hope to hear from you!

Cherry

Bob

As I’ve mentioned before, there’s a neat little pub in the bottom floor of my building.  It’s run by Bob and Cherry.  Bob is one of the owners, Cherry is his girlfriend.  These are the two that took me shopping in Shanghai.

Last week I asked Sherry if she’d be willing to model for me.  It’s been forever since I’ve shot a model, and without access to my studio back home, I have to completely change how I shoot.  She was more than happy to oblige.   We shot at the bridge just down the street.  It’s a small park in the middle of the neighborhood.  These are just a couple of the shots that turned out well.

The place had sat empty for a while, so the dirt built up.  And it doesn’t look like the people that lived here before were all that aggressive about keeping things clean.  So… I’ve been slowly working on things.

The latest round of cleaning has been the windows–and all the other glass.  I tackle a few each day off.  Last week I did the sliding doors on the balcony one day, and the sliding doors in the dining room the other.  Today it was the windows in the kitchen and dining room.  Each piece of glass needs to be washed at least twice to get it to the point that it’s tolerable–not clean, mind you, just tolerable.  To give you an idea of the task:

• 10 large windows (not including Patrick’s room)
• 13 glass doors
• 6 floor-to-ceiling book cases
• 6 glass shelves
• 4 glass cabinet doors
• 1 glass divider wall
• 1 architectural mirror

And that’s just downstairs.  Each of them needs to be cleaned at least twice just to get it down to the point of “having streaks and smudges”, and each one of those (except the mirror) needs to be washed on both sides.

6 of the windows are so bad that I will need to pull them out of the casements and go at them with some sort of industrial solvent (or, more likely, toothpaste and a scrub brush).

This is how I spend my days off.